Leah's Misery

A beautiful sister. An approved sister. A chosen sister.


“Doesn’t anyone want to marry me? Am I really that ugly? I know I would make a good wife and mother. Why won’t anyone give me a chance?”


Dad’s idea. A radical idea. A deceptive idea.


“Will I finally be loved? A man has to love his wife—doesn’t he?”


Jacob’s anger. Another seven years. For Rachel.


“Jacob doesn’t love me. What can I do to win his love?”


A son. Another son. A third son. A fourth son! All for Jacob.


“Jacob still doesn’t love me. He loves barren Rachel. Will I ever be loved?”


Whether it is longing for a father to say “I love you” or an employer to commend your diligent work or a sibling to thank you for your sacrificial love--anytime we depend on the love or approval of another person to be happy, our lives will become mired in misery. We need love and approval--but God is the only, always-reliable source. He makes it possible to live contented, joy-filled lives even when we are rejected by others.


Sunday: We will begin a two week study on Joseph. Incredible truths! An incredible man! Genesis 37-50.

"Give Up Everything"

Take your son, your only son, whom you love ... and sacrifice him. Wow! Why did God make such a radical demand? It is not hard to imagine that over time this loved child could usurp God’s place as his first love. An only child. A miracle child. A long-awaited child. A promised child. The elevation of his child would have happened so gradually that it would have gone unnoticed—except by God. Now God wanted to know if Abraham loved Him more than he loved his child.

At the apex of Jesus’ earthly ministry, when large crowds were traveling with him, he delivered a message that his public relations consultant would have screamed at. He warned the crowds that unless they give up everything, they cannot be my disciple. Jesus was not a religious huckster who wanted to pad his statistics by recruiting casual followers.

Like God did with Abraham, Jesus wants us to lay everything that is precious to us on the altar. And He will test our love to see if we truly love Him first. Maybe a son decides to join the military and go to Iraq: “O.K. Lord. He is your son, not mine.” Maybe you have an investment that that erodes most of your savings: “Yes, Lord, all my money is yours. Help me to be faithful in using it.” Maybe you are diagnosed with cancer: “O.K. Lord I understand that I am not in control of my life. I give it back to you.” I have a friend who has struggled to submit the use of his outdoor leisure to God. How did God get his attention? He had a number of close calls—one time he was nearly killed in a collision with a deer, another time he nearly drowned: “O.K. Lord. I don’t want my leisure to be more important to me than you are.”

As disciples of Jesus we must hold everything loosely, remembering that everything is given to us on loan. What do we cling to? What are we afraid of losing? our kids? our job? our spouse? our retirement? our leisure? our money? our health? our house? If we don’t lay all of them at Jesus’ feet we cannot be his disciple.


November 12, 2006 assignment: Read Gen.25:19-28:22.

November 19, 2006: Read Gen.37-50.

It's difficult to leave the opening chapters of Genesis--they are so foundational to our understanding of life on this earth. But before we exit these chapters, we must ask: If Adam and Eve's sin brought "cancer and canker sores, tornadoes and tomato worms, asps and AIDS, calamity and cavities, aging and arguing, famine and fat," why did God allow the freedom to eat from the tree?

On the highway of life, God gives us the opportunity to play demolition derby--and not all of the participants signed up for the game. Innocent, unsuspecting people get rammed every day. Is freedom good in light of such painful chaos?

What are the alternatives to freedom? In the recent movie, The Stepford Wives, a female scientist (Glenn Close), created robotic people who lived in a special community after she had murdered her husband and his mistress: “All I wanted was a better world where men are men and women are loved and cherished.” Would it be good if God created a Stepford-like world where brothers can't murder brothers? where children aren't abducted? where politicians don't lie? where terrorists don’t exist?

Nicole Kidman’s husband, Matthew Broderick, was considering “enrolling” her in the Stepford program so that he could hang onto her. But Kidman asked, “These machines, these Stepford Wives, can they say I love you?” The director of the program answered: “Of course, in 58 languages.” Kidman: “But do they mean it?” Then she rushed over to her husband and planted a passionate kiss on his lips.

God created a world in which people are genuinely free--free to do good or to do evil. Why? Because He wants creatures who freely, passionately choose to love him. Do you want to argue with God? Would you like to see a little less freedom? Well, take it up with him when you stand before him.

Gen.3--The Beginnings of Sin

The wily serpent began his attack asking Eve: “Did God really say ...?” Satan’s question was designed to implant the suspicion that God was holding out on them, that God had maliciously misled them, and therefore could not be trusted. They would then be open to explore elsewhere for the good things in life.

Eve was eventually hoodwinked, believing that eating from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil would provide all sorts of fantastic benefits—it would be “good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom.” (This all took place before any “Truth-in-advertising” laws had been passed!) God’s warning about the deathly consequences from eating the fruit could not be trusted.

This has always been the Enemy’s goal—to destroy our trust in the complete goodness. But believing in the undiluted goodness of God is essential for our “moral sanity.” It’s chilling to think that God might have a mixture of good and evil motives toward us.

A.W. Tozer believes that “the whole outlook of mankind might be changed if we could all believe that we dwell under a friendly sky and that the God of heaven, though exalted in power and majesty, is eager to be friends with us.”

But what happens when we sin? when, like Adam and Eve, we try to hide from God? Our great, good God comes searching for us in the back alleys of life. He knows that if left alone, we will utterly destroy ourselves.

Every day, every hour, every minute, every second, the all-powerful God of the universe is working for my good! And if I pursue an obedient relationship with Him, I will experience that unending, unlimited goodness. (See Psalm 118,136)

Assignment for October 8:
Gen.4:1-16
1.What do we learn about sin? temptation?
2.Why was Abel’s offering accepted and Cain’s rejected?
3.Analyze God’s advice to Cain.

Gen.6:1-22
1.Describe the condition of Noah’s world.
2.Why did God judge the world so harshly?
3.What kind of a man was Noah?

"A Suitable Helper"

Survey of the OT
Gen.2:18-25

"We-just-don't-love-each-other-anymore" is the most common excuse for ending a marriage. But is a lack of love the primary reason for today's fragile state of marriage? I don’t think so. When God introduced the idea of marriage in Genesis, the word “love” was as scarce as clothes were. There were other ideas which formed the building blocks for a healthy marriage.

First, marriage is designed for companionship. At the conclusion of each day of creation, God wrote an epitaph: “And God saw that it was good. . . . And God saw that is was good. . . . And God saw that it was good.” But even before Adam and Eve’s rebellion, God declared that something was not good: “It is not good for the man to be alone.” Though Adam enjoyed intimate fellowship with his Creator in a perfect environment, he was still incomplete. God created us to be social beings who need other people. Marriage is probably our best opportunity to enjoy this companionship.

When Cathy and I were dating we were together constantly -- meeting between classes, sharing meals, attending sporting events, taking long walks, joining a campus Bible study, participating in retreats, etc. Unfortunately, as author Mike Mason points out, most married couples don’t maintain anything close to this type of commitment. Instead, “great amounts of energy are channeled into other concerns, into friendships and social life, into careers, into the raising of offspring, into every conceivable cause except the cause of marriage itself.”

A husband works at an insurance agency while his wife teaches at a public grade school. He hunts and fishes with his buddies while she participates in a book club with her girlfriends. He serves on the finance committee at church while she teaches a girls’ Sunday School class. With such disjointed lives many of these couples drift apart.

Knowing that relationship building takes time, God gave the following instructions to new husbands: “If a man has married, he must not be sent to war or have any other duty laid on him. For one year he is to be free to stay at home and bring happiness to his wife.” (Deut.24:5) If marriages are going to be strong and help fulfill our great need for companionship, then husbands and wives must lavish time on each other in significant ways. Cathy and I have cultivated our bond by sharing housework and yard work, reading books to each other, ministering to some of the same people, riding bikes together, entertaining in our home, and nurturing our grandchildren.

Next Sunday's assignment: Gen.3:1-24
1.Describe how Eve was tempted. Why did she give into the temptation? Where was Adam? What were the consequences of their sin?
2.How did sin effect the work God had given this couple? How would you define a Biblical view of work?

Sunday school class

Class,

The present debate between creationists and evolutionists is critically important.: “Unconverted man seeks to hide from God. Natural man wants to run his own life. He wants to make his own decisions. He wants to decide at what job to work, what person to marry, where to live, how to spend his money, how to spend his recreational time. He does not want to submit to outside authority. He wants to be independent and autonomous.” (Donald Chittick, The Controversy)

Pagan man needs evolution. It gives him an escape from conscious accountability before his Creator. Though it may be depressing to think that this life is all there is, at least he can choose to “eat, drink and be merry” in this life.

The Bible’s story of Creation should remind us to bow our knees before our Creator. We must not treat God as a hobby, as a spoke in the wheel of our lives. Rather, He is the hub around which everything else revolves. We must bow our whole selves before Him: “Lord how do you want me to worship you? How do you want me to treat my co-workers? my boss? How do you want me to reach out to my neighbors? How do you want me to parent my kids?” And on and on and on. We can’t do this all at once. But we can leave the door of each room in our house open so that He can enter and arrange each according to His design.

P.S. Don’t forget our Prayer/Potluck Sunday night at our house.
6-8 P.M. Kids are welcome. We will provide the main course and drinks. You bring the rest.

Sept.17 assignment: Gen.2:4—25
1.What were the benefits of living under God’s rule?
2.What were the requirements to enjoy these blessings?
3.What do we learn about God’s design for marriage?

As the class winds down for the year I won't be listing any posts throughout the summer. See you in the fall.

Is Worship a Spectator Sport?

Why is the worship of our churches so one-sided? Why do we come to spectate rather than participate? And why do we judge the quality of services primarily by what our worship leaders and pastors do? The Apostle Paul explained that we all have important work to do: “When you come together, everyone has a hymn, or a word of instruction, a revelation, a tongue or an interpretation.” Paul assumed that people would come to worship focused more on giving than receiving.

As a young seminarian Mark Buchanan’s favorite professor read a letter in class from a former student. In that letter the student thanked this professor for his daily class devotionals. The student claimed that while other studies depleted him, those devotionals saved his faith. Though many professors would have been flattered by such praise, this one certainly was not: “Why did he depend on my devotionals to feed him, and not his own? Why did he need to eat from my hand? Why didn’t he gather food with his own hands?”

Good questions. And is this what is at the heart of our problems in our churches? Before we can bring extra food for our brothers we first must learn how to prepare food for ourselves. We would be ready to share a hymn or a word of encouragement or an answer to prayer if we were regularly feeding at God’s banquet.

There is such an incredible bounty available for our hungry souls. If you don’t know how to feed yourself, find someone to teach you. But don’t spend the rest of your life depending on your Mommy to feed you your bottle.

"Holy Charades"

“Holy Charades”

The testimony of many couples seeking a divorce is simply: “We don’t love each other any more.” I know a marriage counselor who responds to that explanation with: “Terrific! Now you can get down to the business of what marriage is really about.” He then explains to them the difference between romantic love and Biblical commitment.

We have been taught that our feelings are supreme and therefore, must be obeyed. If I don’t feel love then the relationship must be doomed. But in Paul’s love chapter he isn’t concerned about feelings, he is concerned about actions. In explaining the nature of love Paul used verb after verb, shouting that love is fundamentally about what we do, not how we feel.

C.S. Lewis has observed that we do not naturally like everyone. And he advised: “Do not waste time bothering whether you “love” your neighbor; act as if you did.” But isn’t that hypocrisy? Only if you are doing it for show. As Paul explains in Colossians we are to “dress up” with deeds of love: “clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.” Like children who are learning to be adults by putting on Mom’s and Dad’s clothing, we are putting on Christ’s clothes so that our love will grow up. As Lewis explains: “Very often the only way to get a quality in reality is to start behaving as if you had it already.” We often must ignore negative feelings while we get busy serving the other person:

• I give up a golf game because I know my wife needs help -- not because passionately want to help her.
• I learn the names of the children of my nemesis at work so that I can ask about their welfare.
• I help an elderly neighbor shovel his driveway in spite of his grouchiness toward my kids.
• I make a phone call to talk with a friend who has seemed cold and distant lately.

Such acts eventually lead to a deep love because God is at work beside us and within us to transform us.

"Bit by Bit"

No progress in the Christian life comes by accident -- it comes by design. The apostle Peter informed us that we must “make every effort to add to faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love.” Like Paul, Peter believed that the highest attribute to be developed is love. And we become great lovers one building block at a time -- add to this ... add to this ... add to this.

As we have been studying Paul’s love chapter, we have been confronted with many deficiencies in our loving. The assignment this week is the same as last: pick one or two building blocks to place in the wall of the spiritual house you are constructing.

• Are the irrational and disruptive comments of your 7th grade students making you irritable?
• Do the weak communication skills of your husband feel unbearable?
• Is your child’s unwillingness to help around the house pushing you toward an explosion?
• Does your spouse exasperate you because it feels like you give way more than you receive?
• Do you find yourself becoming jealous of the time your wife spends with her friends?
• Do you hope that a former employee who deserted you to start a similar business will fail?
• Do you find it difficult to forgive the coolness of your best friend?
• Do you find yourself becoming impatient with everyone near the end of the day?

As God reveals to you the deficiencies in your love, ask Him to direct you to one or two responses that you would like to work on. This is a process. You will certainly stumble as you learn new ways to respond. Old habits don’t die easily!

Next Prayer/Potluck: March 12, Curt & Jolene Kreps, 6:00 P.M.

Love Never Fails

I Cor.13: “Love Never Fails"

What is the greatest virtue? The Bible claims that love is the preeminent virtue, far outdistancing the competition. I Cor.13 contains some of the most familiar verses in the Bible. These words should be engraved into every crevice of our lives. In a hierarchy of goals, the goal of becoming a skilled lover should tower above the rest.

Paul’s words are wedged between lengthy sections of a discussion about gifts. As important as our gifting is, the practice of those gifts is meaningless without love. If I became the world’s greatest orator or someone who could raise the dead or a Christian martyr, such deeds ring up as a big fat zero in God’s account books if I don’t have love. There is nothing that can replace a lack of love.

Paul’s definition of love is enlightening -- and discouraging! We must remember that the Christian life is about progress, not perfection. The danger is that we become people who “merely listen to the Word.” James tells us that the person who “listens to the Word but does not do what is says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and ... immediately forgets what he looks like.” Instead, we must be people who look “intently” into God’s word and “continue to do this.” (Ja.1:22-25). As we go through these characteristics of love, pick out one or two areas you want to work on throughout the week. Ask God to alert you to opportunities before you have responded in unloving ways.

This Week's Assignment: Continued study of I Cor.13.

Gifts of the Spirit

I Cor.12

The Holy Spirit has placed each believer into the body of Christ. (v.13) And like our physical bodies, each body part is deeply dependent on other body parts. Thus, I have a vested interest in your performance. If you don’t perform your God-designed function, I will suffer -- a broken foot makes life miserable for the whole body!

When the Spirit placed us into the body of Christ, he gave each of us special abilities (wow!) to serve “the common good.” One of the primary tasks is to discover the unique ways that the Spirit has gifted us so that we can serve others.

How do we determine how we have been gifted? When I was in seminary one of my professors recommended that we join a different ministry every year for the first ten years after graduation. Though he was partially jesting, his point was that we discover our gifts by having a variety of experience. (His words were more prophecy than advice for me. During that ten year span I received experience as an evangelist, a pastor, a gardener, a teacher, a personnel director, a mentor, and more. Part of the diversity was forced -- I was fired three times!)

These opportunities don’t have to be formal ministries. All of us are surrounded by people in need -- an elderly parent, a single neighbor, a troubled co-worker, a fatherless child, an unsaved neighbor. As we reach out to these people, we will find unique ways -- “different kinds of service . . . different kinds of workings” -- that we fruitfully minister to others. I began to see that I had the gift of teaching by teaching a small group Bible study during my college days. That gift was confirmed and refined as I continued to get further teaching experience. I now know that my gift is most effective in small to medium-sized groups, in an interactive format, with adults, etc. God will give you the same kind of direction as you seek to serve the needs of those around you.

The Lord's Supper

The Christians in Corinth had turned the celebration of the Lord’s Supper into a drunken feast -- accentuating their divisions in the process. This was no trifling matter in God’s eyes. Paul claimed that many were “weak and sick” and some had “fallen asleep” because of their shameful actions.

How do we avoid practicing the Lord’s supper in “an unworthy manner?” We must never let this familiar celebration slip from reality into a mere ritual. It must not become simply a part of the familiar church landscape, something we do as thoughtlessly as brushing our teeth.

But it isn’t just in the Lord’s Supper where we can carelessly go through the motions. Unfortunately, our churches are filled with people who have little reality in their walk with God. Mark Buchanan explained his own experience after his conversion and a flurry of Christian service:

But something, somewhere, went awry. The zeal fizzled. The fire in my bones became only an ache in the joints. My running became plodding. My lightness became heaviness. My joyfulness became jadedness. I joined the ranks of the murmurers and faultfinders -- those who didn’t like the music or the sermon or the color of the azaleas behind the church -- and I found their number legion.

God has given us the Lord’s Supper as an encouragement to connect in a real way with God. It is a simple rite which we do “in remembrance” of Christ’s death. It is a time we open our hearts to Jesus, thanking him for taking our place on the cross, for leaving the safety of heaven, for forgiving all of our sins, for making heaven a sure hope, for bringing life to our dead souls, for making fellowship with our Eternal Creator possible. And in the intimacy of that praise we are also opening our hearts, letting him examine us:

Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.” (Ps.139)

The Use of Head Coverings: I Cor.11:3-16

Though this passage’s discussion about head coverings has several interpretive ambiguities, it also contains several very clear truths. The first is that there is a divine order in creation: “Christ is the head of every man, and the husband is the head of his wife, and God is the head of Christ.” The apostle John explained this clearly: “As the Father has life in himself, so he has granted the Son to have life in himself. And he has given him authority to judge.” (5:26,27; see also 5:19-22)

Secondly, since the Father and the Son are both fully God (Jn.5:22,23), then the discussion about headship and submission has nothing to do with superiority. Though God gives different roles to husbands and wives, the are fully equal in their standing before God: “Woman is not independent of man, nor is man independent of woman. For as woman came from man, so also man is born of woman.” (11:11,12)

The third clear truth is that wives are warned not to dishonor their husbands. (11:5) In Paul’s day they dishonored their husbands by not wearing a shawl over their hair. Though in most cultures today a lack of a head covering doesn’t communicate disrespect, wives should be concerned about how they can honor their husbands. Wives, how do you talk about your husbands’ in public? Do you trumpet his failures or do you praise his successes? (You may need to look hard to find our successes!) How do you treat your husband in private? Do you badger him for his lack of commitment to you and the kids? Or do you praise his stumbling attempts to be a husband and father? (We are slow learners!)

Finally, there is a clear message to us husbands -- we desperately need our wives to be complete: Man is not “independent of woman. For as woman came from man, so also man is born of woman.” How can husbands develop this interdependence? We husbands need to ask our wives’ opinions: “How am I doing as a father? Do the kids respect me?” We need to remember that being the leader doesn’t mean that we have to control all of the decisions. If a wife is a better organizer, let her decide where to put things in the garage. If she is a better money manager, let her set up the household budget. The wearing of a head covering communicated timeless principles. We can do away with the head coverings but we must not do away with the timeless principles.


February 5 Study: I Cor.11:17-34
It is easy to let our practice of the Lord's Supper lose its reality and simply turn into a ritual. Paul had strong words to correct the abuses that were taking place in Corinth. What was wrong in Corinth? How should the Lord's Supper be pracaticed?


Next Prayer Fellowship: Feb.12, 6 P.M. Any volunteers to host?

Spiritual Exercise

I Cor.9

Jesus warned that not many will experience life the way God intended it to be: “Small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.” (7:13f) All of us are confronted with a gate and a road. The gate is our door to God’s kingdom. All who have become Christians have made it through that gate. But our journey isn’t complete when we have walked through that gate. The Christian has the task of walking the “narrow road” of the Christian life. Christ’s implication is that few will find the gate and even fewer will remain on the road.

Similarly, the apostle Paul believed that all Christians were running a race that has eternal prizes at stake. He feared that he might “be disqualified for the prize.” He knew that faithful service to Christ would result in receiving “a crown that will last forever.” It was his focused aim to run “in such a way as to get the prize.”

And what is that way? The only way to receive these rewards is by developing the self-discipline (“strict training”) that is demonstrated by athletes. Paul claimed that he would beat his body and make it his slave so that he wouldn’t be disqualified from the race. We can’t let tired, lazy, sick, aging, aching bodies control our actions. Our bodies must become slaves to our God-directed and God-empowered wills. Many Christians discipline other areas of their lives but not their spiritual lives. Author Donald Whitney has observed: "I’ve seen Christians who are faithful to the church of God, who frequently demonstrate genuine enthusiasm for the things of God, and who dearly love the Word of God, trivialize their effectiveness for the kingdom of God through lack of discipline. Spiritually they are a mile wide and an inch deep. "

Is your spiritual life flabby and out of shape? Start slowly possibly ten minutes of Bible reading and five minutes of prayer each day.

Does your spiritual training need to go to the next level? You may need to increase your commitment to God’s word, start regularly reading Christian books, or set aside an extended block of time in your week to more seriously pray, meditate, seek God.

January 29: Next prayer/potluck. Any volunteers to host?

Remember: the choices we make have eternal consequences.